Embracing Life

May has hit me kinda hard. Getting fired from my job, my computer crashing and almost losing everything, I'm not sure if I'm getting unemployment, to me even doubting myself. The late spring/summer months always seen to hit me with everything they got to keep my in the dumps.

Things had gotten so bad that I was debating on giving on everything, not life, just drawing and writing mostly. But I came to terms with everything and accepted my situations an embraced it. Now, it's given me a new look on life that I know it now. I've decided to focus on Bullet Kingdom 100% until things become too unbearable on me. For the most of your who don't know, I'm currently staying with my mom until she has her surgery to remove a 50+ lbs. hernia she's gotten, but those days might be coming to an end as now plan on moving out soon.

I'm 28 and haven't really done anything with my life. Never been married or have any kids. I've seen things and been places that most people get to see in their lifetimes, but that doesn't amount to a lot when I have nothing to really show for it. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle sometimes, whether it be in life or in art. I'm trying my best to get myself notice to some extent, but that's not paying off to well. I've had some people who stumbled upon me and gave me support when I need and I thank them for that. They know who they are.

I also noticed that I don't draw as well as I used to, maybe it's from the stress of my former job and trying to find another one or worrying about my mom's upcoming surgery. I don't know really. I'm happy with what I got, but I need to get back on the professional level that I've tasted once. With time, with time.

This was just a journal to get a lot of things off my chest as I felt it building and building. I'm going to go for broke now. I know that there's some things I need to change about myself and some sacrifices will have to be made, but i gotta do what I gotta do.

Now that that's off my chest, I have some announcements. First, in about a week or two, I'm entering my good friend *Fyre-Dragon's contest to test myself on how well I can draw someone else's character and artwork. Also, I might be doing an art trade with someone, if she responds. But anyway, those are a starts. Maybe I need to start whoring myself out for commission work? It's just a thought.

If anyone read this half-rant/half-epiphany, I thank you.

Till next time.